The End of the Beginning?

I’ve made it to the finish line.

Well, the finish line of my first year at King’s College London. I just sat and read over some extracts from a ‘diary’ that I kept during the first few weeks here. I hate diaries. I always have. (Why is she writing a blog then, you start to ask?) I sound so young, so amazed; so startled by everything in this city. And then I think of myself today - now. I am a different person.

It’s been less than a year since I packed up my bags and jumped on a train from Glasgow, hurtling down the tracks at 120mph, so ridiculously ready to begin my life after working in Primark for a year; along with waitressing and teaching ungrateful children how to play the violin. A year ago, quite frankly, I was miserable. London was my calling, my saviour; my one - way ticket out of Primark and into a world of friends, books and fun. It was what kept me going in the last three months of my money-making gap year, where waitressing in a mediocre Italian had become my final job before University. I think I’m having one of those very cheesy but also undeniably beautiful moments when one looks at their life with undeniable pride and happiness... To be honest, I’ve had a lot of those since moving to this city that literally pounds under your feet, as the underground rattles manically beneath the pavement. You feel that heartbeat as you stride along the Strand. London is breathing into you - it’s pumping you with life. There’s a soul to this place quite like any other I’ve ever experienced. There’s a familiarity about it that never gets old, a momentum that never reaches a peak. London is like the love of your life: it has a quality so uniquely exhilarating, that it is impossible to find an actual word to describe it.  

A week today, I will have moved out of my student flat and will be heading back to Glasgow for the summer. A depressing thought – I shan’t deny it. The thought of leaving my home and returning to ‘The Mean City’ to work in Primark once again is horrendous. However, this time I will be filled with the knowledge that London will be ready to welcome me back before I know it. There will be no fear this summer, no anxiety surrounding what it will actually be like to get there. I will only have the excitement of knowing that I will be going back.

I will work knowing that I have only blissful happiness to endure in this city. I was reminded of it again as I walked through Oxford Street today with my friend, face aglow amongst the chaos of shoppers. It was one of those moments where you watch yourself from outside your body. (You’re on camera, folks.) You’ve stepped out for just a second – a whimsical moment. I can see myself. I’m watching and feeling the beat of the pavement as I smile. I’m oblivious to the hustle as I swing, (ironically) my Primark purchases in the brown paper bag. I turn around to make sure my friend hasn’t been swallowed up by the throng. I’m laughing as she awkwardly catches up, sweating in a London summer. We both laugh. We both feel the heartbeat of the city as we walk. We think the same thing as we hear the sound of Piccadilly’s Circus in the distance. ‘Look at us, just look at us - we got everything we ever wanted...’